Words of Comfort for Families Without a Faith Tradition

Start with what they value

Ask what has given their loved one's life meaning: people, work, nature, music, humor. Spiritual care for secular families begins with their own language.

Phrases that tend to help

• "Tell me about them."
• "You are doing this well, even if it doesn't feel that way."
• "There's no right way to feel right now."
• "What would they want you to know?"
• "I'm glad you're here with them."

Phrases to avoid

• "Everything happens for a reason."
• "They're in a better place." (unless the family says it first)
• "I know how you feel."